oops... guess the blogging for 365 days didn't happen. but most of my other goals did, which is shocking!
2011 goals:
1. get a job ~ did that (at the last minute, but i made the 2011 deadline!)
2. vacation~ done! went to cancun! once in a lifetime trip, and it was wonderful!
3. camera~ got a very nice camera, built my website and business ~ love it!
4. goal ~ well, i'm still working on this one... probably need to write a bit about it later.
so 2012 ~ what shall we do?
1. still want to blog more- maybe not a 365 blog (since being a single mom to 5 kids, plus a photography biz, plus a part time job, seems to take up most of my time) - maybe i just add to this blog more than once a year. maybe once a week? a 52 blog (ok, starting late, so really just a 50 blog).
2. grow my photography busniess
3. find my goal in life and make some decisions about current state of things.
4. another vacation... beach would be nice, but so would a road trip somewhere.
lets see where this year leads me...
1.14.2012
1.03.2011
destination... unknown
its been months, and i still feel lost. i don't know where i'm going, and i have no idea how to get there.
i feel like i am floating in life. floating along, with zero goals. i don't really know what i want out of life, besides being happy, and i can honestly say i have no idea what will make me happy. its a strange feeling. i have nothing to grasp onto.
its a new year. 2010 pretty much sucked. there were a few good things in it. staying home with my kids was a definite plus. its 2011... and i'd like to have some goals in mind. i'd love to do one of those 365 blogs.. but i can't even come up with something i have enough passion for, to do for 365 days. take a photograph? sure... i can do that. but its so over-done. i want a realistic goal or resolution or 365 project. anything. anything to focus on for a year. but i can't think of one thing.
i have some things that i'd like to get done or need to get done in 2011...but none of them feel passion in my heart or mind. things like:
1. get a job (would be nice to be one i like, but any job will be great)
2. take a vacation... preferably to an island or mexico... relax with nothing around for a week.
3. get a new camera.. start building a portfolio and my business
4. find a goal for my life??? or some goals... or something i am passionate about??
i have one friend who thinks i need to write for a living somehow. but i have no idea how to make that happen or what to write about. its a nice idea, though. maybe i need to blog each day for 365 days. would that help? they'd be short blogs, i'm sure, on some days due to time issues, but can i even write short blogs? i babble way too much for that, usually.
others tell me to focus on my photography.
hmmm... 2011 ~ what am i going?
i feel like i am floating in life. floating along, with zero goals. i don't really know what i want out of life, besides being happy, and i can honestly say i have no idea what will make me happy. its a strange feeling. i have nothing to grasp onto.
its a new year. 2010 pretty much sucked. there were a few good things in it. staying home with my kids was a definite plus. its 2011... and i'd like to have some goals in mind. i'd love to do one of those 365 blogs.. but i can't even come up with something i have enough passion for, to do for 365 days. take a photograph? sure... i can do that. but its so over-done. i want a realistic goal or resolution or 365 project. anything. anything to focus on for a year. but i can't think of one thing.
i have some things that i'd like to get done or need to get done in 2011...but none of them feel passion in my heart or mind. things like:
1. get a job (would be nice to be one i like, but any job will be great)
2. take a vacation... preferably to an island or mexico... relax with nothing around for a week.
3. get a new camera.. start building a portfolio and my business
4. find a goal for my life??? or some goals... or something i am passionate about??
i have one friend who thinks i need to write for a living somehow. but i have no idea how to make that happen or what to write about. its a nice idea, though. maybe i need to blog each day for 365 days. would that help? they'd be short blogs, i'm sure, on some days due to time issues, but can i even write short blogs? i babble way too much for that, usually.
others tell me to focus on my photography.
hmmm... 2011 ~ what am i going?
9.13.2010
14,000 ft high that didn't last...
So, I climbed my first 14ner. And it was great. I think back as to how i came to want to climb a mountain like that, and as thrilling as actually doing it was, i realized it was missing something.
I came off that mountain that night, feeling stronger, powerful, accomplished, happy, and surprisingly... alone. Yes, i had a great friend do the hike with me, and it felt great to encourage each other and cheer each other on the whole way. I watched as her husband and family greeted her, embraced her, and showered her with their love and pride for their mother and wife. Then I came home to my empty house. My muscles ached. My feet hurt. My entire body was tired, and yet i felt this surge of energy to share with someone close to me... but there was no one here to share with. Of course, I had a couple of text messages from friends, and a phone call or two from family congratulating me, but my 'high' slowly faded.
I know i climbed that mountain for myself. But there's no way around the fact that it just doesnt seem to have the same thrill without someone close to my heart to celebrate with. Someone who knows what that hike meant to me. Knows what i've been through to get there. Knows just how far i've come, and the struggles to get there.
Don't get me wrong... i feel amazing that i checked that item off my list... it just wasn't the 'amazing' that i had hoped for. Do i keep trying to complete my list, knowing the end result may not feel as I had imagined?
All of my 'bucket list' items seem to have a common theme... someone to share them with. I know he's out there somewhere... I just don't know if i'll ever get to share them with him.
I came off that mountain that night, feeling stronger, powerful, accomplished, happy, and surprisingly... alone. Yes, i had a great friend do the hike with me, and it felt great to encourage each other and cheer each other on the whole way. I watched as her husband and family greeted her, embraced her, and showered her with their love and pride for their mother and wife. Then I came home to my empty house. My muscles ached. My feet hurt. My entire body was tired, and yet i felt this surge of energy to share with someone close to me... but there was no one here to share with. Of course, I had a couple of text messages from friends, and a phone call or two from family congratulating me, but my 'high' slowly faded.
I know i climbed that mountain for myself. But there's no way around the fact that it just doesnt seem to have the same thrill without someone close to my heart to celebrate with. Someone who knows what that hike meant to me. Knows what i've been through to get there. Knows just how far i've come, and the struggles to get there.
Don't get me wrong... i feel amazing that i checked that item off my list... it just wasn't the 'amazing' that i had hoped for. Do i keep trying to complete my list, knowing the end result may not feel as I had imagined?
All of my 'bucket list' items seem to have a common theme... someone to share them with. I know he's out there somewhere... I just don't know if i'll ever get to share them with him.
I'm getting there! another one checked off!
1. skydive
i want to feel the rush of free falling for a time. i want to feel gravity pull me down. i want to see the world from that view. i want a few minutes where nothing else matters, except the parachute opening. and no, indoor skydiving does not count. i'd love to have someone to share this with me. someone i care about. someone who is willing to jump out of a plane, just because they know how much i desire doing this.
2. ride a motorcycle (DONE! 1/1/09)
i dont want to drive one. i want to wrap my arms around the driver, and hold on for dear life. i want to tuck my head behind his shoulder, to keep the wind out of my face long enuf to breathe. i want to experience the feeling of taking a turn with my body at an angle.
3. go fishing (DONE! 6/7/09)
this seems self explainatory. never done it, never tried. want to learn how. would like to catch a fish in the process too.
4. climb a fourteener (DONE! 9/11/10)
i live in a state full of them. its sad that i have no one to do this with.
5. visit Pompeii and Australia
Pompeii has intrigued me ever since it was part of the unit i taught my son when i homeschooled him. i'd like to travel, and see it in person. Australia just seems like the coolest place to visit. Incredible countryside. I want to explore it, not just see it. It would be fun to visit these places, and others, with someone who loves adventure, who enjoys traveling, and who can handle changes.
6. kiss a total stranger
just to walk up to somone, not say a word, and start kissing them. just to see if they kiss back, or pull away.
7. kiss and dance in the rain
this requires passion. i'd rather never do this, than to do it with the wrong person. granted, i dont know how to dance. but its the idea of it that counts.
8. fire a gun(DONE! 5/30/09)
9. go to a strip club
strictly just to say i've been to one
10. ride in a helicopter
do i need a reason for this one? it just looks SO cool! (and sexy for some reason)
11. fly on a private jet
Partly because i want to feel rich for a short amount of time, and partly because i've heard its so much easier to fly that way... not strapped to a row of cattle... a little luxury seating can go a long way i think... plus, joining the mile high club must be easier as well ;)
12. go skinny dipping (done! 9/10)
preferably somewhere a bit more public than my bathtub or a secluded hot tub, although i'm not aching to get 'caught' or seen... its the thrill of 'i might get caught' that makes it appealing.
13. visit Seattle
the fish market, the atmosphere, just the entire experience. i once had a friend that talked alot about Seattle, and ever since, i've wanted to see it and experience it myself. would really like to experience it with someone i care about, as it seems like it could be a very romantic city. (and not just because of the movie)
14. go to a drive-in movie
i used to be obsessed with the 50's, which makes it even more sad and pathetic that i never got to go to a drive-in, but when drive-ins were still around here and there, i was growing up in a family that wasn't really into going to the movies, so i missed out. now, there are none around me. i believe the closest one is an hour away... but i've never had anyone take me, and it seems like a silly thing to do by myself.
There are other 'fun' things i'd like to do (and places i'd like to do them), but all require raw, animal type instincts along with great passion for another person. Wont list those, or it would ruin the spontaneity of it
i want to feel the rush of free falling for a time. i want to feel gravity pull me down. i want to see the world from that view. i want a few minutes where nothing else matters, except the parachute opening. and no, indoor skydiving does not count. i'd love to have someone to share this with me. someone i care about. someone who is willing to jump out of a plane, just because they know how much i desire doing this.
2. ride a motorcycle (DONE! 1/1/09)
i dont want to drive one. i want to wrap my arms around the driver, and hold on for dear life. i want to tuck my head behind his shoulder, to keep the wind out of my face long enuf to breathe. i want to experience the feeling of taking a turn with my body at an angle.
3. go fishing (DONE! 6/7/09)
this seems self explainatory. never done it, never tried. want to learn how. would like to catch a fish in the process too.
4. climb a fourteener (DONE! 9/11/10)
i live in a state full of them. its sad that i have no one to do this with.
5. visit Pompeii and Australia
Pompeii has intrigued me ever since it was part of the unit i taught my son when i homeschooled him. i'd like to travel, and see it in person. Australia just seems like the coolest place to visit. Incredible countryside. I want to explore it, not just see it. It would be fun to visit these places, and others, with someone who loves adventure, who enjoys traveling, and who can handle changes.
6. kiss a total stranger
just to walk up to somone, not say a word, and start kissing them. just to see if they kiss back, or pull away.
7. kiss and dance in the rain
this requires passion. i'd rather never do this, than to do it with the wrong person. granted, i dont know how to dance. but its the idea of it that counts.
8. fire a gun(DONE! 5/30/09)
9. go to a strip club
strictly just to say i've been to one
10. ride in a helicopter
do i need a reason for this one? it just looks SO cool! (and sexy for some reason)
11. fly on a private jet
Partly because i want to feel rich for a short amount of time, and partly because i've heard its so much easier to fly that way... not strapped to a row of cattle... a little luxury seating can go a long way i think... plus, joining the mile high club must be easier as well ;)
12. go skinny dipping (done! 9/10)
preferably somewhere a bit more public than my bathtub or a secluded hot tub, although i'm not aching to get 'caught' or seen... its the thrill of 'i might get caught' that makes it appealing.
13. visit Seattle
the fish market, the atmosphere, just the entire experience. i once had a friend that talked alot about Seattle, and ever since, i've wanted to see it and experience it myself. would really like to experience it with someone i care about, as it seems like it could be a very romantic city. (and not just because of the movie)
14. go to a drive-in movie
i used to be obsessed with the 50's, which makes it even more sad and pathetic that i never got to go to a drive-in, but when drive-ins were still around here and there, i was growing up in a family that wasn't really into going to the movies, so i missed out. now, there are none around me. i believe the closest one is an hour away... but i've never had anyone take me, and it seems like a silly thing to do by myself.
There are other 'fun' things i'd like to do (and places i'd like to do them), but all require raw, animal type instincts along with great passion for another person. Wont list those, or it would ruin the spontaneity of it
9.03.2010
*sigh*
if i could stop it from happening, i would.
for so many reasons.
for protection....for strength..... for comfort.....
but,
i fear....
it's too late.
for so many reasons.
for protection....for strength..... for comfort.....
but,
i fear....
it's too late.
8.24.2010
additions to "my list"
Since i've completed a few items on my list, i've realized there are a few more i need to add:
so...
10. Ride in a Helicopter
do i need a reason for this one? it just looks SO cool!
11. Fly on a private jet
Partly because i want to feel rich for a short amount of time, and partly because i've heard its so much easier to fly that way... not strapped to a row of cattle... a little luxury seating can go a long way i think... plus, joining the mile high club must be easier as well ;)
12. Go Skinny Dipping
preferably somewhere a bit more public than my bathtub, although i'm not aching to get 'caught' or seen... its the thrill of 'i might get caught' that makes it appealing.
13. Visit Seattle
the fish market, the atmosphere, just the entire experience. i once had a friend that talked alot about Seattle, and ever since, i've wanted to see it and experience it myself. would really like to experience it with someone i care about, as it seems like it could be a very romantic city. (and not just because of the movie)
14. Go to a Drive-In Movie
I used to be obsessed with the 50's, which makes it even more sad and pathetic that i never got to go to a drive-in, but when drive-ins were still around here and there, i was growing up in a family that wasn't really into going to the movies, so i missed out. now, there are none around me. believe the closest one is an hour away... but i've never had anyone take me, and it seems like a silly thing to do by myself.
so...
10. Ride in a Helicopter
do i need a reason for this one? it just looks SO cool!
11. Fly on a private jet
Partly because i want to feel rich for a short amount of time, and partly because i've heard its so much easier to fly that way... not strapped to a row of cattle... a little luxury seating can go a long way i think... plus, joining the mile high club must be easier as well ;)
12. Go Skinny Dipping
preferably somewhere a bit more public than my bathtub, although i'm not aching to get 'caught' or seen... its the thrill of 'i might get caught' that makes it appealing.
13. Visit Seattle
the fish market, the atmosphere, just the entire experience. i once had a friend that talked alot about Seattle, and ever since, i've wanted to see it and experience it myself. would really like to experience it with someone i care about, as it seems like it could be a very romantic city. (and not just because of the movie)
14. Go to a Drive-In Movie
I used to be obsessed with the 50's, which makes it even more sad and pathetic that i never got to go to a drive-in, but when drive-ins were still around here and there, i was growing up in a family that wasn't really into going to the movies, so i missed out. now, there are none around me. believe the closest one is an hour away... but i've never had anyone take me, and it seems like a silly thing to do by myself.
1.02.2010
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